Jars of Clay - His Will, Our Journey

Okay, well, for a very long time I have wanted to be able to "blog" more about things that are "real". Things that matter to not only those that love us, but things that matter to LOTS of people. (not that my family doesn't matter to lots of people - that is NOT what I mean!) I think that God has now set us on a journey, that gives me all the ammunition I need to write about something that can make a difference in people's lives. I am learning SO much about life - I have learned so many "life lessons" in the past few years, and God has been truly kind and mericiful in all of them! (not that they aren't hard, He has just been merciful!) I have recently learned that I truly am just a piece of clay, and that He is the ulitimate "potter". My ideas of "how things should go" and His, aren't always the same - sometimes my timing is just off a little, and sometimes I am supposed to be heading in the complete opposite direction!! He has promised to never forsake us, to never leave us, and I have to tell you , in the last week and a half, He has proven Himself time and time again. We serve a gracious and merciful God!! Here is my latest "life lesson" and thought I would share. . .


Many of you know that for the last 10 1/2 years, my dear husband has gotten up at the crack of dawn almost every day and delivered the News and Observer. It was not a glamorous job, but it did replace almost 1/2 of my salary when we decided I would not return to dental hygiene, but become a full time mommy. It has served us well allowing us to maintain a lifestyle that we were comfortable with. If you had asked us at any given point in the last year, could we give up the income from Darrell doing the paper route, unfortunately we would have both answered the same - "no way!" Truly in human terms, we could not do without the extra $700 a month that splitting the route with our dear friends, provided us. But, on Thursday, January 8, His Will, Our Journey, began.


It had been a rough week - a very rough start to what we had hoped would be a wonderful beginning to a new year. We had all been very sick over the Christmas break - with a stomach virus, then Strep throat and impetigo on top of that! Darrell was hit the hardest with the illness - running a fever at one point of 104 degrees and doctors telling him that he probably had a touch of the flu along with the strep. (hence his absence in ALL of our New Years Eve photos!)Unfortunately for us, his partner was on a long overdue family vacation, so Darrell, sick as a dog, continued to get up every morning at 3:30am and faithfully delivered his papers. After 10 days of the route (sick for 8 of those), he overslept for the first time in 10 1/2 years. To make a long story short - they told him not to come back. By the time he came back to bed with me, all he could say was, "honey, I have some really bad news." Now, I have to say, I don't think there are many other things that can scare me as bad as my husband coming to bed and saying he has some really bad news! I could tell he was really shaken, and that scared me even more. In over 15 years of marriage I have VERY rarely seen anything "shake" him. He told me the events that had transpired, and even as he was talking, it was as if a sense of peace completely enfolded us. Over about an hour of laying in bed talking through things, we came to the mutual realization that this was all God's hand moving. I know my husband, and I have come to realize that there is not one lazy bone in his body - if there is work that can be done, he will gladly do it - and not even think to complain. If we made $300,000 per year and had absolutely zero debt, I cannot imagine him ever saying, "I don't think we really need that $700 a month any more, I think I will just quit the route." It would always be, "if I just worked one more month, we could save for this, or that", etc. Even more pressing is the fact that if he ever quit, that would leave our dear friends in a bind, as they would then have to do the route full time with no breaks, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. God saw that this route would never end for us if He left it in our hands. So, now we have the sense of peace about us, but the realization of losing $700 a month is a REAL fact - and a scary one at that! But, again, I realize that He uses us, just "plain jane" people - "jars of clay" if you will - to spread His word - to show and prove to others that He is as real as it gets. He knew with my big mouth that wouldn't be a problem! ;) I am not even sure I can begin to recount all the ways that He has shown us His hands over the last 2 weeks. I guess the start of it all happened in the first few days following the ordeal. The most pressing and concerning matter was that they had taken the route not only from Darrell, but from our friend as well. We felt a sense of peace about it, but certainly did NOT want to be the cause of our friends to struggle financially. Our first and foremost prayer was that they would give our friend the route back. My prayer was that if God wanted to move in their lives the same way, then please do so, but PLEASE don't let my husband feel that it was HIS doing that the route was taken. I never wanted him to have to carry that burden himself. Being the gracious God that he is, the N&O did give the route back to our friends. GRACE!! After that, we realized that if we eliminated some of the extra money we are sending to bills (we had been sending quite a bit more than needed so we could pay things off faster) and got rid of a few things (like cable) that were really not "necessities", we can really make a go at this without the route. Then, we came to the realization that it will give Darrell the time to really focus on his stock trading (which is where we feel God has led us all along) which he could not do on 3 hours of sleep per night. I have gone to school every day with a new "story" that I relay to one of my "prayer warriors" - the most recent one was the day I was going to splurge on rolls for our sandwiches. I was going to stop at the store and get the rolls, but decided to go back out later. My dear friend, Aimee, asked me to bring her children home from church last Wednesday night. When we met, the children got out of my car and into hers when she handed me a bag that was tied, and just said there were some things for me in there. I got back into my car, and being the curious person I am, had to open the bag at the next stoplight. When I opened the bag, I called her immediately, and told her I was almost weeping. I had wanted to splurge on the rolls, and yet instead, God sent Aimee to me . . . . . . . . .with rolls. WOW. I got chills just re-writing that story! Friday, Darrell worked from home and even while working, was able to watch a bit of the market and jumped into 2 trades and made $160 in only 2 hours! Affirmation for us that it is okay - He is in control, and our focus is now headed in the right direction! As Darrell said, he could have stayed in the trade and made more money, but all he really needed was a "brick" to continue to build a foundation and his confidence. God has affirmed His presence at every turn, at every corner. I am still a bit scared - I cannot lie! I have prayed for forgiveness for my "human-ness" of that. But I have also prayed for his continued peace and know that He will carry us - He promised. And one thing I know about my God, is that He never breaks those!

We thank you all for loving us and keeping us close in prayer!



Keeping our chins up!

Love,
Shannon